careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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