Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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