Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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