I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
