I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Randomize
