U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Shame - the story of my life.
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