I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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