so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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