maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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