he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
