the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
