The maid of honor just puked.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
