I think my fart just growled at me.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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