So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
