Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
