I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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