I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
