I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
