im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
