Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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