I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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