yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
