And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
