im so drunk with asians
where?
always
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
