What a fucking waste of an outfit
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
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