The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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