I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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