i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
