the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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