it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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