So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
