So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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