absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
No...this little piggys going to the bar
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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