sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
The best revenge is premature balding
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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