Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
