xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
