have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
