i just google imaged poop.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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