Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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