margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
