He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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