You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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