seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
