I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
