My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
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