everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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