I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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