I think i sorta joined a cult last night
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I AM VODKA MAN
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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