i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
