I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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