I heard we made out
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Randomize
