conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
We smell like vodka and hangover
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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