it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
